Looking back on 2024: BLOOM

 

BLOOM was one of those years (a bit like launch) where you want (and expect) to see the fruits of your labors, and while that was the case, it became clear to me by the end of the year that what I was really doing was creating a rich, intricate, underground root system to support future me. I didn’t always take the quick and easy path (especially when publishing my book), but know I’ve laid foundations for the future (I also saw deeper financial returns, even with the initial investment).

BLOOM was a more organic, natural, softer, and even feminine word than I’ve used in the past for my “Guiding Force.” I very much needed that in the intensity and extremes of 2024. While the publishing world looks seamless on the outside, there are a million pieces on the back end that need to get done (with additional overwhelm the first time through). BLOOM was an invitation to nurture my work, which at times was a bit agonizing (learning new platforms + tech is not as seamless as it used to be!). Like a garden, when you tend to it over time, one day it will bloom. (I’m also grateful for that garden bed of rest, because much of it was needed!)

The softness also was very supportive when it came to losing one of my closest friends to cancer. I had a front row seat (despite being 9 hours apart) throughout the journey, and was grateful to be able to be a different kind of support. The news that she arrived at the point of no return was hard, and there was a lot of pre-grieving. While I’ve experienced heavy loss before (my mom, also to cancer), losing a best friend and someone younger than me was surreal. She had joined my MYP community which she described as her “self-care.” I see the tools it provided her, and us, to stay present through it all (she was much adored by everyone in the community, sharing so many glimmers among the hard and challenges; those who never met her in person felt it too).

Everything came to a head when I was in Spain to facilitate a three day workshop in May for an international client. The day/night leading into me being on “stage,” her health took a quick turn for the worse. We were so connected, I knew it was happening, I could feel it (and honestly, I think she waited for the moment I fell asleep). There was beauty in the hard, a sense of relief that she was no longer in pain or fighting for insurance coverage and fending off medical bills.

The limbo is always the hardest. Like with my mom, the next day was surprisingly normal (I turned off my phone, facilitated all day, and went for a walk on the beach). It’s the moments of life that you can’t plan for that we must build foundations for. It helped too to be able to say so many goodbyes (via text) and let each other know how much we cared for each other. We even talked about how we’ll always be connected, and I know that sparked some of the magic over the summer (fully convinced she orchestrated my invitation to see Simone Biles and USA gymnastics win team gold, while seated in front of gymnast Jordan Childes’ parents).

The “nourish” stand on my map was essential around the time of my OVERRIDE! book launch (May 23rd) in Paris (the book launch party was so fun and I made everyone map on bananas!). I then hopped on the first plane of the day to NYC the next morning. From the airport I headed straight to the cemetery (only missing the first 15 minutes), and later that day (May 24th) facilitated my friend’s celebration of life (per her request), inviting others to share stories and memories. It was intense, but also I knew the past few years had prepared me this. As my energy masseuse had told me, I would be like a diplomat who gets straight off a plane and goes to a ceremony. (I also knew that the work we’d done to support my nervous system over the years was showing its evolution at this time). It was a true snapshot of “two things can be true” in life.

Funerals are always hard, but they have a way of bringing people together. My dad ended up coming up for the day on the train, and we had a grand adventure (involving transportation). Within 10 minutes of connecting at the station I saw a suitcase covered in ladybugs (LO’s sign)!🐞

The entire summer was one giant magical party in Paris for the Olympics. It was a beautiful reminder to keep going despite the skepticism of others and have the audacity to dream (hello, Opening Ceremonies on the Seine and stunning unlikely venues). In my 15 years in Paris, I’ve never seen or felt the city come together with magic in the streets. During the Paralympics, I had never seen such level of fandom for the French athletes—the French can be enthusiastic, when they want ;)

Everything with my book took longer than expected, but perhaps that’s what “Patience Place” on my map represents. I’ve said from the beginning I’m in this for the long game. It’s a reminder too that gardens aren’t in bloom 100% of the year. They are seasonal, with time to rest and root. We never fully know the beauty that will emerge each year, but there’s often surprise and delight.

HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDED:


PLACES I TRAVELED:

  • Gascony (Relais de Camont)

  • London x3

  • Orleans (France) x3

  • Sitges (Spain)

  • New York City

  • Reims (France)

  • Virginia

  • Folkestone

ALL THE FEELINGS:

Proud, excited, surprised, delighted, open, confused, frustrated, sad, disappointed, emotional, grateful, honored, magical, supported, connected, drained, energized, alive, lighter. Overall it was a year of teaching me a lot about deep self-trust (and letting go of instant gratification).

KEY LESSONS + INSIGHTS:

  • Anything new takes time (more than you think) and bandwidth. This isn’t a bad thing, just a reality.

  • Book people + authors are my people. So fun connecting with fellow writers.

  • I love learning. (Especially discovering books and self-publishing.)

  • We write what we wished was in the world.

  • Writing through something is healing,

  • There are some moments for sharing out loud and others to keep to your self. I’m grateful I kept my book project close to my heart and let it take the time it took. (OMG the technical side nearly did me in, I did not need the added pressure of folks wanting updates.)

  • It’s important to celebrate your accomplishments. (And small steps along the way.)

  • Things that feel personal are rarely about you, everyone is going through their own stuff.

  • It took my body to catch up with my brain when it came to nervous system regulation. The work was worth it. It’s preparing me for what’s ahead.

  • Health stuff can be stressful and take a lot of bandwidth. (Why we need lots of buffer/cushion in life.)

  • It’s essential to advocate for yourself (and listen to your body). Especially but not limited to all things health related.

  • Aging is strange. Awesome friends you can commiserate with are the best.

  • Manifesting is FUN! Especially when unexpected portals and opportunities open out of the blue. You don’t have to know the when and how or the way things will unfold.

  • We need the root system in order to have lasting blooms.

  • I’m in it for the long game.

  • I was reminded how much I love swimming (and a good story)!

  • Don’t reject myself before I even ask. They can say the no, but first I need to put it out there.

  • Deep self-trust is everything.

CELEBRATING!

  • Getting my book into the world! (And the e-book too…eventually.)

  • Allowing my book to be on its own timeline.

  • Doing things my way.

  • Having a blast at book events (YAY banana maps!!)

  • Having space and time for friends when they need me.

  • Staying open to what the Olympics/Paralympics may hold and allowing it to surprise and delight me.

  • Keeping going without instant gratification.

  • I wrote a piece for Olympics.com!

  • I had my first article published in The Guardian!

LISTEN TO ME THIS YEAR:


NEW THINGS:

I’m grateful to the Mapping Your Path community who provides such incredible support as we navigate the world together. Much of this work has happened inside the community.

Check out my past maps and reflections. In looking back at these posts over the years I can see the plot points in my own growth and evolution, and am grateful and proud of myself for taking the time to capture a year in a life, and pull together everything in one place.

The next Mapping Your Path 3-month workshop + community opens for enrollment in mid-January and runs Feb – April 2025. Learn more and sign up to be notified.

 
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